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Fiction, Food, and Foolishness
50 Shades…Made Me Want to do Things!
I never thought seeing a movie like 50 Shades would make me want to do some of the things shown, but it did. I’ll get to that in a minute.
First, there is some beautiful cinematography in the movie, where the camera zeros in on certain things. A hand gripping the edge of a desk, which shows a ton of emotion without dialogue. A pencil that Anna chews on…also another great shot. I thought the sensual scenes were well done. Not crude.
However, the movie is not for the weak hearted. There’s plenty of nudity, and some foul language. That’s been widely reported, but yet, one woman still brought her daughter, who looked to be about thirteen! I could not believe it!! Made me wonder what that child sees in everyday life???? Call me a prude, but I think movies like Shades should have a strict policy of no one admitted under 17, regardless of parental consent. Let’s face it, there are a lot of idiot parents out there!
In my opinion, Dakota Johnson is perfectly cast as Anastasia Steele. A balanced combination of innocence and self-confidence, especially when deciding about Christian Grey, played by Jamie Dornan. 
Unfortunately, I didn’t find his portrayal as engaging as hers. That had more to do with his physical appeal than acting ability. He’s a model, so there isn’t much to him. I really didn’t see him as dominating.
<<<<<<Now… Max Martini, the guy who plays his driver…now that’s a guy I’d believe could dominate!
That’s strictly a personal opinion, I’m sure others will LUV Jamie Dornan. Several women in the audience did, and let it be known.
That brings me to the part where I was influenced by the movie. There was a loud-mouthed woman in the audience who had something to say about most every scene. Before the end of the movie, I wanted to bind her, gag her, and whip her…all the way to the front door!
I suppose if I rated the movie, I’d give it 3 stars. It wasn’t awful, but it wasn’t fantastic. I felt the same about the book. I’ve never understood what all the fuss is about. I’ve read much worse…and seen more erotic scenes in other movies (Coming Home, 91/2 Weeks) that haven’t gotten the hype this one has….or maybe they did back in the day, and I’ve forgotten.
I’m old…I do that sometimes.
GREAT RESOURCE FOR FORMATTING YOUR BOOKS/Five on Friday
Surely I have at least five ideas in this post, so I’m using it as a Five on Friday!
If you’re like me and haven’t mastered Scrivener, or some other formatting program, you’ll need to find someone who can do the job for you.
Keep in mind you’ll need different files for different sites. One for print/Createspace. One for Kindle/AmazonKDP. One for Nook/Barnes&Noble. One in Pdf. format. At one time or another, you’ll need all of these.
If you offer ARC’s (Advanced Reading Copies) prior to the book’s release (to get reviews) you’ll need to be able to offer those readers a choice of pdf., mobi, ePub, or word document.
I found a great formatter on Fiverr.com. If you’re not familiar with that site, please check it out. They have vendors who will do a ton of things for….you guessed it…$5 bucks!
Don’t get too excited, getting a 70,000 word manuscript will cost you more that five dollars. For that amount, you might get 2500 words done, and then you’ll have buy extra “gigs” for the remainder.
I highly recommend the person I used. AnnMarie Stone. She did a fantastic job. She delivered on time and kept in close contact with me. She’s now gone out on her own, so here’s her link. http://www.annmariestone.me/formatting.html
Feel free to use my name if you contact her.
Look for vendors located in the US, and have some dialogue with them before you purchase to make sure they have a good understanding of the English language…because communication is most important!
If you’d like more info, contact me: [email protected]
FIVE ON FRIDAY***BobbiCat
Looking for some great children’s books? Well, here you go!!! Lovely artwork and fabulous rhymes for kids! Thanks, BobbiCat for taking part in my Five on Friday!
If you could snap your fingers and make one thing happen…what would it be?
I would snap my fingers and every child would get a chance to read a BobbiCat Book.
Top three things on my bucket list.
Make sure BobbiCat Books are the best on the market.
I’ve done everything I ever wanted to so I dream up new wants everyday.
Put a smile on the face of everyone I meet.
Do I have a secret?
Doesn’t everybody? Sure, I do.
Do I write in silence or listen to music.
I listen to music…always.
Best advice BobbiCat can give a new writer.
Write every day, attend workshops, critique groups, and join writing clubs, and write, write, write.
BobbiCat has numerous books (some pictured below) available on Amazon at this link:
http://www.amazon.com/BobbiCat/e/B00MGTX9AG/ref=sr_ntt_srch_lnk_2?qid=1421370701&sr=1-2
FIVE ON FRIDAY***Dennis Hart
I’m honored to have read all of Dennis Hart’s books. Each has something different to offer the reader but they all have his special brand of humor. Even in Life Minus 3 1/2, which is based on the true story of how he embezzled millions of dollars from the company he worked for, there are moments of humor threaded throughout. Thanks Dennis!!
Be sure and read all the way to the bottom so you can get the answers Dennis gave to his questions…they will make you laugh!
Check out Dennis’ books at the link below.
http://www.amazon.com/Dennis-Hart/e/B0039X0AIM/ref=sr_tc_2_0?qid=1421368465&sr=1-2-ent
“Gulf Boulevard by Dennis Hart is a delight. A rerun of Neil Simon’s Odd Couple with a thriller engine . . . a collision with seriously amusing results . . .”
San Francisco Book review
“David Barry fans will welcome Hart’s comic thriller . . .This is neither great literature nor politically correct, but it’s a lot of fun.”
Publishers Weekly
“Hart has a way with one one-liners and left-handed descriptions . . . There’s plenty of good fun in Gulf Boulevard with a sequel to come.”
Kirkus Reviews
Kirkus Reviews for Life Minus 3 1/2
A habitual gambler recounts a life of bad decisions in sports books and corporate embezzlement, and the effect it had on his family.
No one’s saying Dennis Hart had it easy. A father at 17 with an unstable girlfriend and bills to pay, he shelved his nascent college career to begin life in the working world. There—facing dire straits that many of us have encountered at one time or another—Hart gave in to the first of many opportunities to bend the law and profit while doing so.
From there, despite his lack of formal training, Hart was skilled enough as an accountant to land jobs in numerous financial departments at mid-sized companies. When he and two colleagues began their own precious-metals company (and Hart began a separate travel agency), he developed the means and the structure to begin cashing illegal checks to support his gambling habit.
His sports bets—and the Hollywood-named hustlers who are on his tail—continue to multiply while he draws money from his companies and conceals the misdeeds on the balance sheet. As Hart juggles this downward-spiraling mélange of family, lawyers, hustlers and hit men, Hart’s readers will feel the stress once corporate managers finally notice the balance sheet irregularities.
The inherent suspense throughout contrasts well with Hart’s candid and effortless writing style; he recounts every mistake from a refreshingly honest and self-effacing perspective. What may strike readers most is the ultimately tragic nature of Hart’s story. A handsome, intelligent, charismatic man, he seemed to have the world at his feet. But a series of bad decisions and weakened resistance to temptation sent him down a path that twisted toward lifelong infamy.
In a moment of bleak anguish, Hart describes his future wife agreeing to a first date with him: “It would prove to be the worst decision she ever made.” In the end, perhaps Hart’s greatest victory is keeping his wife, his dream of Florida and his readers on his side.
Recommended both as a suspenseful story and a cautionary tale of yielding to temptation.
FIVE ON FRIDAY QUESTIONS…OR I SHOULD SAY THIRTY-SIX ON FRIDAY!!
If you could snap your fingers and make one thing happen, what would it be and why?
The obvious answer is world peace, but I’m sure that’s been spoken for, so I’ll snap my fingers and eliminate mosquitoes because those buggers deserve to be eradicated.
If you had to describe yourself in one word, what would it be?
I’d say hesitant, but hold on a minute.
If you could choose your last meal, and you weren’t in prison, what would it be?
Prime Rib and Maine lobster, with a side order of chocolate Haagen-Daz ice cream.
If you could change one thing about yourself, physical, mental, emotional, what would it be and why?
I’d say to be taller so my mental state wouldn’t be so emotional when I’m looking up at a woman I’m attracted to wearing six-inch stilettos.
If there was one person, real, fiction or fantasy, you could spend time with, who would it be and why?
Adam. So I could warn him about Eve.
What are the top three things on your bucket list?
Living forever.
Meeting an alien from another planet.
Retiring on a warm beach.
What’s the one thing you do every day that you enjoy the least, but do it anyway?
Wake up.
Do you have any odd or interesting writing quirks?
Yes, when I try to write anything serious, it ends up humorous. I can’t control it.
If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?
In a hammock stretched between two palm trees close to warm water and balmy breezes filled with salt-laden air.
What makes you laugh?
Anything funny.
Name one thing you’ve learned from your heroine.
I don’t take drugs.
What is the most romantic thing a man/partner has ever done for you? Have you put it in a book?
She took out the trash one day. No, it was too special a moment to be in my books.
Who would you choose to play the two lead roles in your book, if it was made into a movie?
In my book Gulf Boulevard, I’d cast Jason Bateman to play Jason Najarian and John Goodman to play Sal, Two Scales, Scalise.
What is your greatest fear?
Speaking to a hostile crowd.
What is your favorite thing to do during your spare time…besides writing?
Gardening.
What do you like best about yourself? Least?
Best: Survivor. Least: That I get myself into situations that enable me to claim I’m a survivor.\
What is one strong memory that has stuck with you since childhood…and why?
The blooming boobs on Brenda Smith, my first infatuation.
What is one of your favorite quotes?
“Never miss a chance to keep your mouth shut.” Robert Peck
Do you have a secret? Something you’ve never told anyone…just answer yes or no.
Maybe. I can’t remember.
Do you have any tattoos? If so, care to say what and where?
No tats.
Do you read horoscopes?
No. I don’t want to predict the future, only the past.
What’s your favorite dessert?
Anything related to chocolate.
Do you write in silence or listen to music?
Silence. I have to be able to answer my own questions.
What do you want readers to know about you that’s not in your bio?
I’m addicted to M & M’s.
What is your favorite book and why?
Gold Coast by Nelson DeMille. I couldn’t put it down.
Do you have any family traditions? If so, what?
Yes. We all eventually pass away.
If you could be a character from one of your books, who would it be and why?
I’d be Dennis Hart in the book, Life Minus 3 ½ and I’d be Jason Najarian in the books Gulf Boulevard and Sand Key.
What’s the best advice you ever got…doesn’t have to be about writing.
From the movie Shawshank Redemption: “Get busy living or get busy dying.”
Do you belong to a critique group?
There is a coterie of miscreants loitering in my head that critique everything I do.
What’s the best advice you can give a new writer?
Write what you want, not what others want.
Do you remember your first kiss? Care to elaborate?
If my memory serves me well, right after the doctor whacked my butt, a beautiful nurse kissed me on the cheek.
Your four fantasy guests for a dinner party…living or dead.
Dean Martin, Rodney Dangerfield, Don Rickles, and Steve Martin.
Where were you when JFK was shot?
I was 10 years old, in the hospital recovering from a broken femur. I will never forget the nurses and orderlies embracing each other as they stared at a wall-mounted television.
Do you sing in the shower or car? What type of music?
I sing in the car. My playlist is eclectic from The Beatles to Bruno Mars.
Do you think you resemble any famous person?
If I did, they wouldn’t be famous.
What’s the most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to you?
Walking into a ladies restroom at a function and thinking, “They finally got rid of urinals and added privacy stalls.” OR, I was on vacation at Club Med in Cancun and was trying hard to impress this Houston gal named Nancy when the shrimp was served. I’d never had shrimp before, so I bit in to look cool. Nancy looked at me and said, “Don’t you take the shell off first?” I froze while thinking the shrimp WAS a little crunchy. My reply, “Oh…yeah this is how we eat shrimp in Boston.”
FIVE ON FRIDAY***DALE T. PHILLIPS
Dale T. Phillips
Stephen King was my college writing teacher, and I’ve got a number of short story collections published. I’ve also published a horror thriller, over 30 short stories, poetry, and a non-fiction career book, How to Improve Your Interviewing Skills.
I’ve appeared on stage, television, and in an independent feature film, Throg. I competed on two nationally televised quiz shows, Jeopardy and Think Twice, losing on both in a spectacular fashion. I co-wrote and acted in The Nine, a short political satire film. I’ve traveled to all 50 states, Mexico, Canada, and through Europe.
Visit me at www.daletphillips.com
http://daletphillips.com/Book_page.html
Do you belong to a critique group?
Yes, it’s part of my obsession for quality. I’m with five talented writers, and we exchange editing on our writing. Everyone looks at a piece differently, so there’s value in the multiple perspectives. For example, writing from the viewpoint of another gender is difficult, so with both men and women in the group, we get great feedback. When your writing passes the quality test of other professional writers, you can feel good about what you’ve created, and know that the reader is getting well-crafted work.
What is one strong memory that has stuck with you since childhood…and why?
I was in my early teens, walking down a lonely country road at night, in the winter. There came a soft crunching in the snowy bushes beside the road, as if an animal was stalking me. Struck with sheer terror, I walked faster- and the noise kept up with me. No cellphones then, I had to deal with whatever was making that horrible crunching sound. I gulped and stopped to face my fear. The noise continued, and I was then curious. I determined to move toward the sound, and eventually discovered that it wasn’t an animal at all, but sound of the ice crackling in the frozen river, carrying a further distance because of the cold. So a good lesson learned about dealing with fears, because much of the time they aren’t real.
What is your greatest fear?
Of dying before I get more stories told. There are a lot of planned books, including several series, and I keep a list of over 200 story titles I want to write.
What do you want readers to know about you that’s not in your bio?
My writing has strong moral themes, and is more than just entertainment, although that has to be present as well. Even though I write in many different genres, the tales have a purpose. In an early interview, I said that I write to help people deal with death, pain, and monsters.
What is one of your favorite quotes?
Be ashamed to die until you have won some victory for humanity — Horace Mann *****I love this quote!!!
Dale and I met through a small press publishing house. He’s written tons of books, both fiction and non-fiction. Here are a few of his covers, but please go to his website and buy link to check out all of his titles.
BIG Texas Thank you, Dale, for taking part in Five on Friday!
The 12 Indies of Christmas Blog Hop and Giveaway*** Jingle All the Way
Here’s a short story for the 12 Indies Christmas Blog Hop and Giveaway. Merry Christmas Everybody! I hope you have the best holidays ever!
Be sure and enter the Giveaway at the bottom of the post! Great prizes!
Jingle All the Way
Three days before Christmas, Amelia Martin stood naked before her full length mirror and accessed the damage. Two skinned knees. Two bruised palms. One scraped elbow. And a destroyed ego in a pear tree.
She should sue the bastards. If they were going to keep a rubber mat in front of their doorway, they should make sure the thing lay flat, if for no other reason than to protect the klutzes of the world.
It was almost Christmas, for Santa’s sake, everyone is in a hurry. We don’t have time to make safety checks. That’s the job of the shop owner. Well, so much for responsibility. She shook the thought from her head and tried to regain what little holiday spirit she’d had.
After placing bandages on her wounds, she grabbed the lime green jogging suit and pulled the pants on. Thinking back on the incident, from the time her toe caught on the rug until she hit the ground, only a matter of seconds passed, but seemed as if everything went into slow motion. She landed on all fours and her butt projected a full view for the gathering crowd of onlookers.
Nice of them to take time out of their shopping to enjoy the embarrassment of a middle-aged, overweight, recently divorced, depressed woman with a bad dye job.
And just when she thought things couldn’t get worse, a member of the crowd stepped forward and leaned over her. “Are you okay?”
Amelia looked over her shoulder as she struggled to upright herself. Oh dear Lord. Could it be? Please, no.
“Oh my God! Amelia? “
Quinton Wakefield, the one that got away, six feet three of broad shoulders, chiseled features, and teeth like Chiclets, offered his hand.
Amelia’s heart faltered, but she managed to grab his fingers and he pulled her to her feet. She looked down at her palms. Both were bruised, swelling already toward her wrists.
The crowd broke up and left just the two of them standing together.
“Are you okay? I almost didn’t recognize you. Gosh, I don’t remember your hair being . . . “his voice trailed off.
“Orange? Yeah, well, about that. I should have known a color with the name of Wildfire had a strong possibility of getting out of control.”
Quinton took one of her hands and held it as if he were going to tell her fortune. Amelia’s knees shook like a bowl full of Jell-o. She wasn’t sure if it was a residual effect of the fall, or from his touch.
Get control of yourself, you’re a forty-six-year old woman for Christ’s sake. She pulled her hand away.
“Well, it was nice seeing you again, Quint. Have a Merry Christmas.”
“Wait. I heard about your divorce. Why don’t we grab a cup of coffee and catch up. It’s been what . . . ?“
“Nine years. Last class reunion. She thought how delicious his two hundred thirty pounds of heart-break-waiting-to-happen would feel, but then remembered how he’d dumped her after six dates back in college. “I don’t think so, Quint. As I recall, I wasn’t your type when I was younger, thinner, and prettier. I don’t see the need to catch up. Maybe when my hair gets back to a normal color, and I lose fifteen pounds, and get a facelift, and the holidays are over, and I’m not depressed anymore, then we can catch up. I’m in the book.” She walked away.
Amelia shook the encounter from her head and put the sweatshirt on. God, I look like the Grinch. She ran her fingers through her hair. If there was one thing she didn’t need in her life, it was a man. She’d dedicated herself to the one she’d had for over twenty years and look where that had gotten her.
She walked into the living room. Miranda, her twenty-two-year-old daughter snuggled on the couch watching one of those music channels. A new age band sang their rendition of Rocking Around the Christmas Tree.
“I hate Christmas,” Amelia said. “I’ll be glad when it’s over.”
“I remember when you loved it. Is it because of Dad?”
“No. It’s everything. You and your sister are grown, so I don’t have the Santa factor anymore to get me excited. Music, decorations, parties, they all depress me. White Christmas, Bing Crosby. Dead. Blue Christmas, Elvis. Dead. Christmas trees. Soon to be dead.” Your dad, should be dead. Amelia smiled at the unspoken thought.
Miranda muted the program and gave her mother full attention. “You know what you need?”
“A good stiff drink?”
“Oh, I’m thinking of something stiff, but it’s not a drink.”
“Miranda!”
“Good grief, Mom. You know what they say; the best way to get over a man is to get under a new one. I think you should have coffee with that guy you told me about. He sounded interested. You should have some fun. Get your bells jingled.”
“Miranda! You are terrible. Apparently, I’m not fun. Your dad didn’t think so.”
“I love Dad, but he’s a jerk. You’re fun. You’ve always been fun. He just let a younger woman turn his head. He’ll regret it. I promise you that. A few more years when he’s too tired to keep up with her pace, she’ll leave him behind. Then, I bet he wants you back. Besides, it been almost a year.”
“Almost a year,” Amelia repeated. “Yeah, how could I forget? He gave me that wonderful two day spa package for Valentines, and while I was getting peeled and waxed, he was packing and leaving.”
The phone rang and Miranda answered it. “Yes, she’s right here,” she put her hand over the receiver and whispered. “It’s Quinton.” She handed the phone to her mother.
“Hello.”
“I like the color of your hair. It’s festive. And I always thought you were too thin. As for the facelift, you don’t need one. You’re more beautiful now than when you were young, and here’s the best part. Since I’m a psychologist, I can help you with the depression, so I think we should go out to dinner.”
“Quint . . .”
He interrupted. “I’m not taking no for an answer. It’s Christmas. Goodwill toward men. Show me some goodwill. It’s the least you can do.”
She smiled. Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way!
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{I hope you enjoy this sweet, short-story romance!}